If the reason you find Mend The Marriage yourself tuning out is because you feel your partner is being self-absorbed and does not reciprocate by showing interest in your needs, share that thought-but do so carefully and respectfully. Try saying things like, "I really want to hear how you're feeling, but in truth, I'm having a hard time right now too. I want to make sure I have a chance to talk as well." Strike a deal, as silly as it might sound, that you'll take equal turns expressing your thoughts.
Ask a lot of questions. It not only shows that you're interested, it helps you understand what the other person is really trying to say. Few of us are born as gifted communicators, and asking questions can help your partner clarify their thoughts while helping you understand better. A common therapy tip is to ask your partner if you've heard correctly what they're trying to communicate: "What I think I hear you saying is... " We're not all born as gifted listeners, either, and many misconceptions arise out of simply misunderstanding what the other person is saying.
When you repeat back what you think you're hearing, it gives your partner the opportunity to clear up those misconceptions, which can be critical: Maybe you think you're being falsely accused of something, or that your partner has expectations you're not meeting. It's important that you understand exactly what your partner is asking for. Anything less undermines the point of communicating in the first place.